A little Reflection...

Here's a little story...

I April of 2004,  I moved from Arizona to Colorado Springs where Jason and my new life were waiting for me.  I had just completed my 8-month long Anusara immersion and teacher training, at that time they were one and the same, and  I was ready to dive into teaching.  Just before I moved to Colorado,  I was perusing the Internet for Colorado Springs Yoga studios late one night and found one that looked promising.  Spring Street Yoga was the studio that caught my attention and, as it turned out, was a wonderful place.  As I was looking over the web page and clicking on each tab,  I hit the contact tab and immediately felt compelled to compose a note, so I did.  In that note that I sent to the owner,  I stated that I had just completed my Anusara teacher training and was moving into the area in a couple of weeks.  I asked if she had a need for any new teachers because I was interested in teaching at her studio.  To my surprise,  Sara promptly wrote me back and shared with me that she was interested in hiring on some new teachers as she had just lost 3!  We made a date to meet.  It was a wonderful first meeting and my first scheduled class was set for May 2, 2004.  I believe it was a Sunday morning.  Eleven people showed up that day and of that 11, only one had heard of Anusara yoga, which was a  new style at the time.  I remember being quite surprised that Anusara was so new to the group.  In that moment,  I realized that I was going to have to start from scratch and find a way to share what I knew in a way that was relatable and easy to grasp.

Thankfully,  I had a great teacher who taught Anusara in a very simple, understandable way.  Never did this teacher use the Anusara jargon such as 'inner spiral' or 'outer spiral' or the ever famous 'open to grace'. I made a lot of mistakes.  From those mistakes,  I learned how to be a better teacher. What kept me going was my passion and my desire to share all the good stuff that was given to me. So the point of this story is that even though it was a more challenging way to begin teaching,  it was also the greatest  gift. When I felt people doubting or judging my teaching because what I was offering was different and new, which happened a lot, I was unknowingly being given an opportunity to learn to stay steady in my own heart and to be as authentic as possible as a teacher.  The other hidden gift in my situation was that I discovered my own voice early on.

More often than not, what seems like a major challenge turns out to be a real blessing.  I am convinced that we are given certain challenges, tests, experiences and such as a way to grow and reveal the best part of who we are and what we have to offer.  We simply don't see the big picture or the deeper meaning hidden in our experiences until later after some time has passed and we've had time to integrate our lessons. I am at a place where I can see clearly that there are little gems of goodness hiding in every difficult situation.  I have found many a jewel on my travels so far.  

At this time in my life, I find myself in a very new place, back at the beginning in many respects.  Since letting go of my Anusara-inspired status and of further pursuing Anusara certification, I have felt a real sense of freedom to do whatever I like.  I am in a place of learning, experimentation, play and discovery.  I am finding I am not afraid to try new things in class and to share what is working for me with my students. Mostly, what I offer in my classes is whatever teaching wants to come through me.  I am really learning to trust that inner voice and just let whatever teaching wants to move through me,  to just move through and out.  Little by little, one class at a time, I am letting go of what I think I have to do, the rules and what not, and just teach what I want to.

I very much feel like I am a new student having a look at all my options.  I am looking over all the classes in the catalog and seeing what interests me.  I haven't taken a training or any major weekend workshops in a long time.  I just haven't had the money or been ready to do anything.  I think I just needed to let things with my Anusara let go settle a bit.  I am looking into all that is out there before I do anything.  I have a few specific teachers in mind that I feel the desire to study with and am just trusting that inner pull.  It's actually kinda of fun, if you ask me, to have so many options available and out there for the taking. Of course,  I'll be sure to share what is next.

So here is where I try to tie all this together as I see the common thread that is running from my past into my present.  What I learned when I first began teaching in Colorado Springs and all that time I spent in that place of discomfort and big learning, is most certainly serving me now.  Not only do I realize how fleeting that feeling of discomfort is,  I finally understand that discomfort, so called 'bad' days, mistakes and difficulty in general are the best teachers there are.  It all comes back around to me being authentic and truthful in the seat of the teacher. It's all about me trusting in my way of teaching and the way in which the teachings want to be expressed through me minus my fears and doubts.  It's about the love of learning, being of service for the greater good of all, and enjoyment in general.  It's about going for the 'love to' and not the 'have to' and from there, all things become clear.

Yup, that's it.  Be good with the hard stuff because the sweetness is soon to follow.  And have faith that every experience is worth something and is leading you somewhere better, whether it be a better understanding or a better situation doesn't really matter. Just trust the way of things and the way in which life is unfolding because all that is coming next is in your favor.

All Love,
Marcia



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