I have been thinking a lot about this path in my life that I am on and have come to the conclusion that I am Oh so Lucky! I have days where I have lots of questions and doubts and feel like I have no idea where this is all leading, and then I have days where I am so certain and moved and inspired and feel so blessed to have both the intense and easy experiences.
These past few weeks have been full and a bit of a whirlwind. I have been emotional but really present in a way that I have never been before. I am able to see my doubts arise and acknowledge such uncertainty and lack of support for myself in a totally different way. My hope is that all this work that am and have been doing for some time now is helping me to transform this feeling of not good enough into something wonderful and useful and helpful.
These last few days I have spent in recovery mode. I was so incredibly tired after the immersion and I think after everything that has gone on with the loss of my baby and the releasing a lot of emotion both old and new. I do feel lighter on many levels and feel that I am finally starting to digest the lessons and blessings of these past few weeks.
A lot of what has been on my mind is that of Gratitude. I feel such Gratitude for all my teachers past and present and those who I will learn from in the future. I feel that each teacher that I have studied with teaches me something new. I love all of my teachers for different reasons. Of course what I love most is how they are just themselves. From each of my teachers I have learned how important it is to just be me and trust that if I teach from that place it will come out right and teachings will flow through me effortlessly.
Since my move here to Tucson, I feel that I have grown tremendously as a student and teacher.
My eyes tear up as I write this because I have had to face my own fears to step into this arena. I felt immensely intimidated when I moved here and to show up and teach was a huge hurdle for me. It is even more difficult when you can feel that not everyone is ready to open to or accept what you have to offer just because it or you are new. But here I am. I now teach several classes a week at YO and love it and the people. I have such a great group of people I meet with every week to share the teachings and growth with. The main lesson I have learned is just to be real. I show up as I am and share what I learn and hope that it is relatable, useful, uplifting and inspiring. It matters to me to help and make a positive difference in a similar way that my teachers have done for me.
So I give thanks to all of my teachers for their authenticity, generosity and knowledge, and for all the love they give out.