From Wow to Ow
From WOW to OW, this past week has been a wild ride. I attended the second phase of the immersion again with Darren and Christina and am glad I did. I decided to go even without knowing if it would be good or bad for me. It was so hard to show up in such an awkward and vulnerable state. I arrived feeling wildly weird and empty in my body, heavy in heart, and foggy in mind. I was definitely in the I-don't-know place and feeling pretty terrible in general.
I did a lot of crying this past week but think I needed the release. I cried on Friday, felt decent on Saturday, left Sunday afternoon because I started crying and couldn't stop. On Sunday, I felt overwhelmed and consumed by waves of emotion that took over and took me under and literally left me breathless. In the midst of the intensity, I realized that I needed some time to myself to grieve in private, so I took a day and a half away. I realized I needed to nurture myself instead of push myself somewhere I was not ready to be. I think stepping back and away gave me what I needed and think that was a wise decision on my part.
I re-joined the immersion group on Tuesday afternoon feeling nervous and a bit out of place but was embraced and welcomed with kindness. By the end of Tuesday night, I felt better, lighter, different. The class with Bronwin and Sianna Tuesday night was pretty amazing and magical for me. I dedicated that practice to myself and to a teacher of mine who is also in need of some extra love at this time.
On the last day of the immersion I arrived feeling so much brighter and lighter. I could feel my joy rising again so that was good. The practice was fun, and I really enjoyed myself. We ended the last day with the closing circle and it was just so great to really SEE everyone and to witness the impact that this experience had on all of us. The changes and the gratitude felt by all is so big that words do not do the experience justice.
When it came time for me to share, I was honest, open, and weepy in a freeing way. As it turned out, Stephen (?), who was sitting next to me, shared with me that he and his partner had just experienced a miscarriage too. What are the odds? Well, as Stephen and I agreed, there was a reason we found ourselves next to each other during practice, lecture, and in the closing circle. There are no mistakes. We are always exactly where we need to be. We just need to trust that.
So two days following the close of the immersion and the close of a phenomenal week of WoW, I am experiencing the Ow. Yes, I have a bit of a Yoga hangover as Elizabeth called it. I am tired and still a little sore but not to bad. I am totally enjoying time with my sweet boy and getting caught up at home.
Taking it easy,