Stoking the fire in the heart~
It's hard to believe it's the final month of the year. As usual, I've had a head full of thoughts and have been unsure of where to begin or how to pour it out. So let's just begin...
Christmas is only 17 days away! It doesn't feel like Christmas but am not sure what that means, really. I feel the need to add a little Holiday cheer to our home. Putting our tree up would be good start and am sure Liam will love the lights and change.
Anyway, on my drive home from class this evening, I was trying to wrap my head around the idea that another year has come and is nearly gone. This year went fast. Like sand that runs through your hands through the space between your fingers. Hard to hold onto time and keep all the good things in mind. Sweet moments to remember and bad days that are better forgotten but both are useful all the same.
Naturally, the time feels right to look back over this past year and see how far I've come and time to look ahead at what's next. Even as I steady my gaze between the two points of what is done and what is yet to come, I want to enjoy every minute of what is left.
Truthfully, I don't feel overly hopeful about the new year or sad about this year coming to a close but am just sort of going with it. It feels good to be more even emotionally. I know what is coming will be good so no need to worry. And, really, I am just in a more contemplative space. Pondering the lessons and internal changes over the last year.
In fact, as I was at the studio this evening, some of the students here in Tucson for phase 3 of the immersion arrived. It got me to thinking about last year around this time as that is when I attended phase 2 with Darren and Christina. Deciding to attend the immersion with those two was a really good choice and helped me grow in so many ways. A part of me feels a tinge of longing to be in it this week with the hardy, hopeful souls who have come to work and play and grow.
Instead, I will look over my experience with a smile on my face and take in a new lesson from a time not so long ago. The lesson that stands out to me this evening and the theme that I used for Sunday's class was something that Paul Muller-Ortega said, " We are ushered into our Greatness. Whether or not we walk inside is up to us." Further along those lines he pointed out that this whole life, this outer level of experience, is all about leading us back inside. We are always getting subtle and not so subtle messages from the Divine and it is easy to miss them. So it is up to us to pay attention, to listen, to trust that inner voice and believe in that deep place of knowing.
My seed message or the repeating theme for me over this past year is this: Listen, listen, listen! Listen deeply. Do what you are guided to do by following the longing in your heart. Feel the pull and go there. The Spark Is there. Now, feed the creative fire and let the light burn through the flesh. Let whatever is dying to come out be visible, tangible, useful. Reveal yourself. Share your gifts and trust the process to the depths.