Moving with the Thoughts

I have had a lot on my mind lately so this entry may be a bit random. Everything from teaching and learning to family and babies has been on my mind. I find that when it comes to having a family, well, it changes the pace of things a bit. I look at some of my fellow friends on this yoga path with me who are also working towards Anusara certification and sometimes I feel a little slow.
I know that I should not compare where I am at to where someone else is at, but I sometimes wonder when I will get there. It could be that I am closer than I think. I suppose it's a lot like that idea of having the miracle within reach and you stop just short. Of course, I am not stopping or questioning this path. I know that I am headed in the right direction and am exactly where I need to be. I guess I just wonder how close or how far the reality of certification really is. I suppose it comes down to is hanging in there and, for me, simply reminding myself to enjoy the process and trust the flow of things.
There is no specified timeline that I have to be certified by but would like to try within the next two years. I still have some reading, digesting and assimilating of material to do but can just continue at a steady pace. That is the wonderful thing about Tucson and Yoga Oasis, there are so many opportunities to learn. Yoga Oasis is always offering some workshop, teacher training, or philosophy talk. Top-notch teachers are always traveling to Tucson. I feel really blessed in this way to be here. Of course, I would like to attend every single event, but I do what can.
Our move to Tucson has really helped, even pushed, both Jason and I to grow on so many levels. The other big blessing that came with the move was family. With my parent's just 5 minutes up the road from us and Jason's parent's and sister a little over an hour away, Liam has really been thriving in their presence. We have received a lot of help from both sides and it does make a difference to have family close especially when you have a little one.
Speaking of little ones... another thing that has been on my mind a lot lately is adding to our family. Yes, I have been thinking about having another baby and so Jason and I have been talking about it. Liam has been asking for a baby sister for a little while now and so is clearly keen on the idea. I think I am thinking about it too much but want to take on such an adventure from a wide open place. I want to be as willing, accepting and prepared as is possible. There is a lot of change that accompanies the creation and bringing forth of another little being. Part of what runs through my mind is how will this slow my certification process. I suppose all I can do is continue to read, study and learn as much as I can before the creation and arrival of baby #2.
I find that I can think about all the pros and cons of having another baby all day and still be on the fence. If I allow myself to feel the desire for a another child, then I know the answer. The time feels right. Everything will come together. We will find a new sense of balance as a family and maybe a little more easily next time. I will regain my body, my strength, and mental clarity in time with some patience and diligence. Sleep or lack there of will be rough at the start, but maybe we will be blessed with a little sleeper the second time around. I can only hope!
Like I said, I have a lot on my mind. I feel better pouring some of this out onto the virtual page. There is definitely something to be said for being able to share what is on my mind and in my heart in such a way. I feel lighter and more optimistic already.
Hopeful,
Marcia

Comments

  1. oh Marcia, I so understand where you are coming from!
    I don't think anyone can really be prepared for the journey of pregnancy... it throws too many curveballs!
    I know that there is a lot of emotion tied into having another child, (trust me I do know that!!!) but you are a strong and amazing woman, not to mention great Mama... try not to "think" too much about it... because really the entire journey has just too much to do with feelings.
    When you are ready it will happen and I personally can't wait, because I know that you will do great... and with every new child there is such an abundance of growth.. you will be amazed by how much MORE of yourself you will discover, and how much more you can and will become! : )
    I love you and wish we were closer geographically. It would be so nice to be able to spend time together. I miss you!
    Take care and I am so glad that you blog now... I need to post more often, it's not like there is a lack of things I'm thinking about!! : )

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