The Wheel of Life~
The cycles of nature teach us that all of life moves in a wheel. Wherever we stand on this wheel, we are certain to move to the next point and the one after that, until we are brought full circle to the place where we started, and as T.S. Eliot wrote, we “know the place for the first time.”
Where to begin? It's been so long since my last post that I don't even know where to begin. Let me begin with this... I have tried 4 times to get this post up. By the time I get a chance to sit down at the end of the day, it is 9 p.m., and I am so tired and brain dead that all I want to do is sit and do nothing. And so I sit and read a magazine or watch a show on the television. What can I say? This is my life with kids.
Let's see, since my last post, I have had a birthday and am one year older. I am 38! Yup, I am 38 and married with two children. I am a young woman at heart at the tail end of my thirties, fast approaching my forties, and can hardly believe it. That being said, I am still in my thirties and very much intend to enjoy these next two years.
Life is funny and fast. Just when you get one thing down, you gain a little clarity or understanding or you begin to feel a little settled, things change again. The wheel of life is always turning. Half the time I feel like I can hardly keep up. I don't know if having a baby around who is growing in leaps and bounds on a daily basis has a lot to do with that or not but am guessing it does.
Lila is fast approaching 10 months and has gone from a tiny infant in my arms to a baby on the move. She is a mighty fast crawler. Lila even puts her head down to increase her speed, and I can tell you it works. So not only can Lila crawl on hands and knees, she even does a down-dog walk on hands and feet, which is super cute. Add to that her new found skill of popping up to standing and there is a lot going on. As you might imagine, Lila has taken to standing up as often as she can and is practicing free standing and some squats to get up and down. I am sure she will be walking before she turns one. She is curious and clever and clearly lets you know what she needs. Lila's hair is now blond instead of brown, and people almost always comment on how much she looks like Liam. Lila's eyes are still blue and quite stunning, and I really hope they stay that way. In short, Lila is a little Love. I am so grateful and happy she is here.
Liam has grown and changed a lot too over these past few months. He loves to be outside hunting for bugs and lizards and things, and loves riding his bike. Liam has a superb memory and absorbs as much information as he possibly can. He has taken to listening to Jack Johnson on the ipod, which I called a walk-man the other day, with headphones. Yes, I am aware that calling the ipod a walk-man gives my age away a bit. Anyways, he says that listening to Jack Johnson relaxes him. This is a good thing since this little boy has a lot of energy to burn and can be a bit too rowdy at times. We have recently discussed the idea of taking a music time out when he starts or we, Jason and me, start to get too worked up with each other. Since this idea came about, Liam has told Jason and I that we need a music time out almost every day. We have told him that we think it is the other way around. Very funny, really. As you might already know, Liam has a mind and way all his own. This is a positive in my eyes, as I am sure this will serve him well later in life. Right now, however, his willful way isn't always easy or fun for me or Jason. We are riding the moving wheel and working things out one day at a time.
As for the rest of things in my life, things are going well for the most part. I have my moments like everyone else. Thankfully they don't last that long, but they do come more often than I would like. That said, I do feel more together and like myself in body, mind and heart than I have in the past 9 months. Integration is happening albeit a bit more slowly than I anticipated. Life as a mother of two definitely requires an adjustment period. The good news is that I can now go almost anywhere and everywhere with the two of them. Not that I always want to to do that, but I can. I guess becoming a mother of two is it's own right of passage. Thankfully, I think I have made it over to the other side.
Just as a side note or offering to Mothers of just one baby or child, I will share with you this:
Enjoy this time with just your one precious child. I promise running errands is easier, you do get more time for yourself with just one than you might think, and getting out the door does not take near as much planning, time or energy as it does with two. If you have a baby, take any and all naps you can with your baby because you do not get that luxury the second time around. Eat that quiet time up! Seriously, what I would give for a nap in the middle of the day.
Okay, so back to it...
I am still teaching 3 classes a week at Yoga Oasis and spending the rest of my time with my two little Ls. I have been spending some time on line investigating and contemplating my next step as far as study and learning go. I am considering a restorative training with Judith Lasater, a Reiki training, the magnet for magnificence workshop here in Tucson in June and a few other things. I feel I need a little hit of inspiration, a deepening of my own practice and some time for myself. It has been a while since I have done any workshops or training, so I am sure it will feel like I am starting over and like I am back at the beginning.
I have come to no conclusions or decisions yet but am sure my next step will become clear soon. Until then, I will just sit with things and keep looking until that moment of clarity comes.
Off I go to get my class together while Lila is sleeping and Liam is keeping busy.
Enjoy the day,