Feeling the Flux

"How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most." (Stephen Covey)
This past week or so I have been feeling the flux, riding the everyday waves as they rise and fall. Each day is different but in many ways the same. I feel pretty good at this stage in my pregnancy, a little tired from time to time, but good in most ways.
I am definitely experiencing some changes in my body. Some days when I practice, I feel solid and strong. On other days, I feel a bit weak and have to really work hard to keep the integrity in each and every pose. I am finding that, even at this stage, it is necessary for me to change my approach to my practice.
When I was pregnant with Liam, I felt good but was also in this space of feeling like I needed to prove that things were the same, when, well, they weren't. It was almost as if I thought I had to uphold this idea and image of myself as being a super yogini, just as strong and capable as when I wasn't pregnant. I guess on some level I felt like I had something to prove. I don't feel that way now. Though, there is this side of me that wants to continue on as I have, the other side, the wiser, more aligned side of me knows better. This time in my life is about enjoying this experience of growth in change on all levels because that matters to me.
My body, my strength, my mental clarity, all these things will return with some patience and work on my part. In the meantime, I am to work with what is. I intend to stay in my heart and maintain my connection to myself, my baby, my body. And everyday I remind myself to remember and know what matters most to me, and I go for that.
I know that I will be transformed by this experience in ways that I cannot even imagine. All I have to do is embrace and love every moment of this journey.
In the Current Moment,
Marcia

Comments

  1. thamesarinoFebruary 19, 2010 at 6:39 AM

    oh Marcia, you are right it is such an amazing journey to take! I am so excited for you that you are once again experiencing this magical metamorphasis! I think that the hardest part for me is balancing the pull I feel towards myself(and new little one) and the pull I feel towards my current family.
    It is funny reading your thoughts because we are in such different stages of this familar path, but I can so easily relate to where you are right now. I hope that you are able to really enjoy every moment, that is something that was very difficult for me, but I did try!
    I am so close to the end now and I am happy to say that since about 26 weeks I have been truly enjoying what I think will be my last time down this particular road.
    It's true that there are many expectations throughout this entire process, not the least of which came from my own head, but if you are able to release those things and just BE what and where you need to be at the moment... well then it is a beautiful thing indeed!
    Good luck to you. I think of you so often right now and am wishing you well!
    Love and light to you, my friend!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Marcia TullousFebruary 20, 2010 at 2:15 PM

    Ruth,

    You are the best and am so happy to be traveling alongside you even if a little behind. It's so great to be able to stay connected even with all the mile between us. My love and blessings to you for smooth sailing and enjoying the sweetness of this last phase. May your birth and what follows be graceful and joyful.

    Love and Light,
    Marcia

    ReplyDelete

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