Luminous Lotus~

It's official, it is the last week of this year and all feels good. Yes, I am feeling much better and am glad things are on the up swing. Liam is finally feeling better and is nearly over his cold as of yesterday. We are all getting more sleep and feeling more like ourselves. This last week has been good. A lot of time spent with my family and some time spent with Jason's family. Christmas was pretty laid back. We did not go crazy and enjoyed the process of finding, buying, wrapping and giving of gifts. I think Christmas day Rocked. Liam was happy and think he really enjoyed himself. My sister leaves for Denver tomorrow. During her visit this time, we managed to get in two long walks together and spend some quality time with each other. This was a good visit. Tonight, Liam is having a sleepover with his Jay- ja , Papa and Auntie G. Jason and I get a night to ourselves and a full night's sleep, which is a treat for us. So back to it... I will spend this wee...

I am feeling pretty exhausted this morning after another night of Liam waking and crying and fighting going back to sleep. In all fairness, he has been sick. It first began with an upper respiratory cold which then turned into an ear infection in both ears. Needles to say this last week and half has been a bit draining. I feel grumpy and worn out. Something that I have noticed about myself is that when I don't get enough sleep or time for myself to take care of my own needs, I get blue and the negative thoughts that spin round in my head are pretty relentless. As is obvious, I am really feeling it this morning. I get tired of being needed. Of course, when the little ones are sick or not feeling well, all they want is Mama. I realize it is my job to be present and do what I can and I do. However, I don't wake feeling any better. Don't get me wrong or misunderstand, I love my little Liam and am grateful for my sweet boy. Sometimes, though, I feel clueless...

It's hard to believe it's the final month of the year. As usual, I've had a head full of thoughts and have been unsure of where to begin or how to pour it out. So let's just begin... Christmas is only 17 days away! It doesn't feel like Christmas but am not sure what that means, really. I feel the need to add a little Holiday cheer to our home. Putting our tree up would be good start and am sure Liam will love the lights and change. Anyway, on my drive home from class this evening, I was trying to wrap my head around the idea that another year has come and is nearly gone. This year went fast. Like sand that runs through your hands through the space between your fingers. Hard to hold onto time and keep all the good things in mind. Sweet moments to remember and bad days that are better forgotten but both are useful all the same. Naturally, the time feels right to look back over this past year and see how far I've come and time to look ahead at wh...