Too Much on My Mind...

April 1, 2009~
I woke this morning still holding a head full of thoughts.  My mind was unfocused and on to many things all at once.  I spent some time at B-Line cafe this morning writing to try to put some of these thoughts somewhere other than just in my head because this usually helps. 
But... There I sat thinking about last night's class, the strange dreams I had, this special day, my 9-year anniversary with Jason, and weaning my son.  I find that I tend to linger a bit on things. 
For example,  I am glad that Liam and I are working toward weaning and that shift in our relationship but feel a little sad too.  It's a strange bitter, sweet change.  Those moments when I sit and hold him at breast are so tender and special.  It really is hard to put into words that feeling I have when I hold him near and he gazes up at me and me down at him. It is hard to believe he is getting so big and that this phase will soon pass. I want to remember this time as vividly as I can and really breathe in every moment. 
As for the rest of the things that have been on my mind, they seem to have faded and settled into the background.  On some level I know I am in a place and time of refinement. Refinement of myself,  my life, my practice and my teaching.  Keeping that in mind helps me to let go of trying to figure everything out right now and just allow the shape of my soul to be shown over time.  
I am tired and in need of rest.  Rest for my body, my mind and heart.  I hope my dreams tonight are as interesting and informative as last night's were. 
Sweet Dreams,
Marcia

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Mother's Plea For Help ~

Image
“It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it.” -Lena Horne We often think that admitting struggle is a sign of weakness, but we all struggle sometimes. We all get overwhelmed sometimes. We all need help sometimes. Acknowledging this is not a sign of weakness, but struggling alone is a choice to grow weak. Dear Friends, This will be a very different entry than what I usually write.  This entry is really a request for help, ideas, suggestions, empathy, a show of love by offering anything useful to help me help my son with his separation anxiety.  Let me share with you my situation... My son is 5 and has been going to preschool 4 days a week for 3 1/2 hours.  The school he goes to is really a wonderful place.  It is whimsical and small and community oriented. His teacher is the best.  She is kind, compassionate, loving, and she loves what she does.  I love her.  He only has 9 kids in his class and there are at least 2 or 3 ad...
Read more

Big and Wide Open~

Image
Photo Credit: Mathew Dols I'm listening to Ben Howard and feeling quite nostalgic.  My head is still a bit clogged and foggy from being sick, which may have something to do with the state I am in. But truthfully, it feels more like old stuff that's coming up and moving out.   Either way, I feel inspired to write and let this inner desire for understanding and expression take place. I really can't help but marvel at the way time passes,  along with people and places and moments that seem to live forever.  There are certain moments and times in life that shape so much of who we are, what we become along the way, and the way in which we find our way into our self. For me, there have been many wonderful people, places and moments that have shaped me into the person I am now.  I am not just speaking of the big and obvious things like marriage and having children.  You see,  I grew up an army brat and moved around a lot. I moved from state to state,...
Read more

A Long Time Away~

Image
Photo by: Matthew Dols  My last post was in January. It's been 4 months since I've last written a thing. I guess I've been away so long because I haven't really known what to say or think or share. On some level, I've been reluctant to share what's really going on for me for fear of how such information might be perceived. Maybe it's all part of this strange change that I seem to be in. I find myself questioning everything from teaching to parenting and everything else in between. I honestly don't know why I feel so displaced and uncertain, but I do. And I find myself less and less interested in the things I used to be interested in, and more and more uninspired by those things that use to really inspire me. I find myself getting bored, to some degree, with the whole yoga scene. It's all become so trendy and bendy and ultra ego driven. It's a bit too much-look at me- for me. Don't get the wrong idea here,  I'm not writing this post...
Read more