Luminous Lotus~

I once heard Maya Angelou say something like: "everyone always talks about the beauty of the butterfly, but no one ever talks about what it took for the butterfly to get that way." I may have heard her say something along that line on one of Oprah's Masterclass series. That particular quote, which is not exact, has stayed with me for the last few weeks.  How easily we forget that true transformation is a breaking apart, a falling apart of sorts.  And the break down is rarely pretty, and is in fact quite messy. I certainly feel as though I am in the fall apart phase of change.  The last week has been really hard and uncomfortable and unpleasant to say the least.  I have had moments where I have felt full of regret over leaving what we had built up behind.  I have questioned whether our choice to move here was a good idea as the starting over feels so hard, and, really, we had so much good around us.  I have not felt clear or inspired in the least lately, and mostl

A lot can happen in a month, and a lot has happened.  The move over the last month has been intense to say the least. And, as I sit in our new house in Flagstaff,  I feel rather out of sorts.  I would even go so far as to say I feel a bit stunned and am in a state of disbelief.  I keep asking myself, "did that just happen?" Yesterday, I felt immense sadness as I said goodbye-for-now to my Mom and Dad.  I will miss being so near to my Mom and Dad.  We have spent the last 6 years seeing each other every week and often times more than once.  I probably saw my mom every other day the whole time.  Yup,  I love my mom and am very close with her and miss her a whole lot right now. I miss them both a lot right now.  I know, with time, I will adjust.  We all will adjust.  The good news is that right now both kids seem to be doing pretty well.  For that,  I am grateful.  Jason is pressing on and is fine per usual.  It takes me a little more time to absorb my experiences and then am r