Somewhere in the middle...

I had to go back and read my last entry to find out where I left off and to see how long it had been since my last entry.  I'm  still in it.  Life is a whirling blur and so much seems to be shifting and changing in our lives, and I swear nearly every blog entry starts that way.  I'm staying true to the trend. 

Since my last entry,  I taught a 4-week restorative yoga series, 3 yoga and writing sessions, I turned 40, and my husband resigned from his job of the last 11 years. It's been an interesting time.  It kinda feels like we are floating in space, not really anchored to anything but not lost in some black hole either.  

Anyway...

I have really enjoyed branching out with my teaching and trying new things.  The restorative series went really well and had an amazing turn out.  So many of the students shared with me how much they loved it and how good they felt, and how well they slept.  Many were surprised at the potency of such a practice.  Most of the folks who attended this series have inquired as to whether an ongoing class will happen.  Unfortunately, at this time, there is no room on the schedule at YO central for a regular, ongoing restorative class.  YO central is a busy place and for very good reason! On my end,  it was a joy and a challenge to teach this series.  I have some learning and refining to do in this area of teaching but loved doing it all the same.  

As for the yoga and writing series.  Teaching that felt pretty natural and have had fun with it.  I would love to add to that and so will keep at it.  I guess with both the restorative and the yoga and writing I really just wanted to go for what I thought was needed at this time.  Also,  I really just wanted to give myself permission to share what I love and what works for me with others in the hopes that it might work for them too.  I guess at nearly 10 years of teaching you start to figure your own way.  It's a growing up of sorts I'd say.  

I think for a long time I really wanted and thought I had to have a mentor, a teacher to teach me everything.  I tried to make that happen, to have a teacher to teach me and take me under their wing so to speak.  But the truth is,  no matter how hard I tried,  it's just never happened.  The teachers that I wanted to mentor me or that I thought would be good mentors for me were always too busy and, in many regards, out of reach.  I don't mean out of reach in the sense that we are not on level playing field, but more like they just weren't available.  I think at this point,  I've just given up on that whole idea.  I think that things are just not gonna happen for me that way.  And the more I think about this, the more I realize that some of us are just meant to find our own way and tread our own trail.  

I used to get bummed out about this, but I don't anymore. I realize now that teachings come to me in a multitude of ways: through books, poems, music, students, other teachers, my kids, my life, and so on and so forth.  Now I just try to stay open and trust what I am drawn to or inspired by.  I do miss being in group learning experience and want to get to a training and some workshops.  I just haven't had that sort of extra income for a while.  I still really want to do a restorative training with Judith Lasater and hope to do that this year.  In the meantime, however,  I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and allow myself to try new things and  learn as much as I can from both my successes and my failures, or rather, my mistakes.  Failure sounds so final.  Mistake sounds manageable. 

I guess teaching is no different from living when I think about it. Both require you to be an eternal student, and both insist that you find your own way to what is true and really works for you.  And good teaching and living a good life are ongoing practices. And practicing at anything is really a matter of choice.  We have to work at the things that matter and yet it's not all about the work.  It's about what happens in the midst of the work. It's in the process that the prize is found.  I know somebody else said something similar to that like:  "the prize is in the process" but cannot remember who.  

Anyway, it's true. Or at least it is for me.  ; )

Take great care,
M


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