Saturday, February 20, 2010

One Year In

It was one year ago today that I began this blog per the suggestion of a friend. It was suggested to me as a way for me to put myself out there and I think, in many ways, to start revealing a side of myself I often keep hidden.
I had never read a blog much less written one. I started fresh and new with no knowledge on how to blog or what to blog about, so my approach was just to write what was on my mind and in my heart and allow it all to unfold. I don't write as many entries as I thought I might but feel good about what I do share. Mostly, I feel that this is a great way to understand what is swirling around on the inside, direct things a bit and get some clarity in the process.
The best part of this whole blog adventure is that now I read several blogs on a regular basis and have found that I love the blog world. I enjoy reading friend's blogs and non-friend's blogs alike. I often find myself inspired by the words and experiences of others and that is always a gift.
So to my friend, Mr. Andrew Wojecki, I thank you for your suggestion, encouragement and introduction to this lovely new world. Here is my first entry from one year ago.
Enjoy and Get Blogging,

New to this...

Here it is, February 20, 2009, and I am just now getting my first blog created. Where to begin...
I just completed Phase 3 of the Anusara immersion with Darren Rhodes and Christina Sell and it was an amazing experience. It's funny because I wasn't sure I would attend because I also want to attend the teacher's intensive with John Friend the first week of March. I was having trouble seeing how it might be possible for me to do both. All I can say is, I am so glad I showed up and participated because I learned so much over these last 6 days. We worked so hard but in a way that felt good. I am struck by the way in which such deep work in and on the body moves us deeper into our selves, into our heart. When we are focused on our outer experience in the moment and then feeling our way inside our bodies there is this deep and surprising work that is going on at the cellular and spiritual level that we aren't even aware of until it hits us in the heart.
It was a special group that joined me on this particular adventure. Everyone was so willing to be bare and honest, vulnerable and real, supportive and strong. I am so glad they were in the boat with me on this ride into the depths of the ocean of my heart.
As I absorb the lessons and let everything settle, I realize how fortunate I am to feel supported and lifted to higher place within. I realize how grateful I am to feel and know that I am part of something bigger, part of something profound, mysterious and magical . There is no going back when moving forward on this journey. I feel hopeful and excited about what I will pass on and how my life will continue to change because of all the work I have done and all the layers I am lifting away to reveal the sweetest, purest part of my Self!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Feeling the Flux

"How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most." (Stephen Covey)
This past week or so I have been feeling the flux, riding the everyday waves as they rise and fall. Each day is different but in many ways the same. I feel pretty good at this stage in my pregnancy, a little tired from time to time, but good in most ways.
I am definitely experiencing some changes in my body. Some days when I practice, I feel solid and strong. On other days, I feel a bit weak and have to really work hard to keep the integrity in each and every pose. I am finding that, even at this stage, it is necessary for me to change my approach to my practice.
When I was pregnant with Liam, I felt good but was also in this space of feeling like I needed to prove that things were the same, when, well, they weren't. It was almost as if I thought I had to uphold this idea and image of myself as being a super yogini, just as strong and capable as when I wasn't pregnant. I guess on some level I felt like I had something to prove. I don't feel that way now. Though, there is this side of me that wants to continue on as I have, the other side, the wiser, more aligned side of me knows better. This time in my life is about enjoying this experience of growth in change on all levels because that matters to me.
My body, my strength, my mental clarity, all these things will return with some patience and work on my part. In the meantime, I am to work with what is. I intend to stay in my heart and maintain my connection to myself, my baby, my body. And everyday I remind myself to remember and know what matters most to me, and I go for that.
I know that I will be transformed by this experience in ways that I cannot even imagine. All I have to do is embrace and love every moment of this journey.
In the Current Moment,

Monday, February 8, 2010

A New Development~

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”

I think this quote is the perfect beginning for this post. Actually, this is sort of a new beginning, a time of many changes to come. But isn't life full of that anyway?
So here is the latest development in my life, I am pregnant. I found out on January 27Th that I am indeed in a new phase of creation. This period in my life is about the creation of another human being and the transformation of myself into something new too.
This new twist on things does change my plans a bit with regard to the teacher trainings I wanted to attend this year here in Tucson and the traveling to Colorado for the Anusara gathering but such is life. As tempting as it is to want to do things toward the end of my pregnancy, I know that would not be wise.
I do, however, have another harebrained idea. What I have been contemplating is applying for my Anusara certification before this baby comes. Why? Well, one reason I am considering this is because I know that certain things will need to take a back seat for a while once this little baby arrives. I am guessing that I will not have the time nor the energy required to do more than care for a new born baby, take care of my family, myself and teach. Taking care of a new born is a lot of work, wonderful, worthwhile work but work that requires my time and full attention.
Thankfully, my mom and dad live 5 minutes from me, and I know they will be a great support system for us all. I remember not having any family nearby when Liam was born and we had so many unexpected surprises and challenges to handle on our own. When Liam was born he was born with congenital heart defects, which we had no prior knowledge of, so the whole experience was all a bit shocking but this is a story for another time. This pregnancy is already blessed to begin with in that way, so I am grateful.
So a back to my slightly nutty idea, I am thinking this applying for full certification might actually be doable. Of course, this could be a hormonally induced idea but it is here all the same. This isn't half as crazy as opening a yoga studio at 7 months pregnant, which I managed to do while pregnant with Liam, so I am hopeful.
Here is my plan: I will finish reading all the books on the required list, re-read and study both the teacher's manual and immersion manual, and work to refine my teaching skill during each class. As I approach 7 months pregnant, I will look at what I have accomplished and where I am at and decide from there if it feels right to apply, take the test and send in a video. I have been told that the video portion is a 'process' so will prepared for that. At least, I can get the ball rolling and see what happens. I think this is sensible approach. Don't you?
Did I also mention that I will need some time to prepare for this little beings arrival? I think the key things I need to remember are to enjoy this pregnancy and cherish each physical change, each flutter, every moment of inspiration and remember to rest. So my goal is not to make myself busy but to make the most of this time while still keeping life in balance.
For now, I will continue to read my books and take in what I can and continue to be conscious of my teaching so that I can refine, refine, refine.
I suppose that sums things up and catches us up. Off to bed.
Sweet Dreams~