Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Light in the Dark~

The dark night is giving way to the light this morning.  And for such an intense time, the sunrise this morning is so soft and colorful.  I am grateful to be up to witness the beauty and quiet of the morning.  It's amazing how nature can soften my gaze and help my heart stay focused on the good.  

It's been a wild ride this year and there is a lot on my mind.  That being said,  I am hanging in there.  I have definitely felt the pull of the full moon, the powerful lunar eclipse, the craziness of Mercury retrograde and the sweetness of the winter solstice.  It's a strange brew but that is just it,  things are brewing and I feel it.  Change is on the horizon.  

Even though this has been a tough time for many, myself and family included,  we have all made it this far.   There is hope.  The good news is that the fall downward always gives way to the rise upward.  

For the last few weeks,  I have been thinking a lot about this year and how important it is for me to get clear on my sankalpa, intention, for the new year.  Because before I can plant the seeds of intention in the deep, dark of my heart, I need to contemplate what matters most to me and get clear on my vision for my life and what it is I want to create and bring forth. 

One thing I know for sure is that I am in the creation phase of things and this is ever present and evident in the blossoming of my belly. This pregnancy and this little growing baby is by far the best part of this year.  This little baby is a blessing.  Then again,  babies do bring big blessings, so I am feeling fortunate and grateful for such a blessing.  

I would venture to say that things are already looking up despite a few things still in need of changing.  I suppose patience is required at this point.  

I will end this with a link to Anodea Judith's blog.  What she writes on her blog or site sums things up perfectly.  Read it and enjoy.  

Sending Blessings and Best Wishes out to each of you for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

With Love and Hope,

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

This Landlady Has A Headache!

It's quiet in the house.  Liam is napping and all I hear is the hum of the refrigerator.  The cat is sitting next to me purring and staring at me in the hopes that I will stop typing and pet her.  I am glad to feel more at peace today, though,  nothing is so different today than yesterday except maybe my acceptance of my bothersome situation.

What is my bothersome situation?  Well, let me explain...

 Jason and I own a townhouse in Colorado Springs that we were not able to sell before we moved here to Tucson because the housing market turned bad.  Because we could not sell our townhouse, Jason and I decided to hang on to it and rent it out.  We have been renting out our townhouse for the last 3 years and it's been a real pain this year.  Unfortunately, we are still waiting to see rent from our current renter for November and December.  We have heard every excuse you can think of as to why the rent is not here.  It's frustrating because the renters before our current resident also skipped out on paying for July and August, changed their phone numbers, left no forwarding address, and have made no effort  to respond to our emails or phone calls, but, of course, why would they when they know what they did was shitty.  Excuse my language, but I think it is warranted in this case.  So what seems like just  two months of waiting has really been 6 months.  My patience has worn thin, and my family has felt the pressure of barely making ends meet.

On the positive side, because there's always a positive mixed somewhere within the negative, at least we are managing to pay all of our bills.  At least we have each other, a little house to live in, food to eat, a car to drive, clothes to wear, a healthy baby on the way (which sounds like an odd thing to be grateful for in the midst of financial strain but it is something we are definitely grateful for),  we do work we love and get paid for it,  and we have loving supportive family and friends all around us.  When I write it like that and stop to remember these things,  I feel the worry fall away and I breathe again. This isn't to say that I don't wish this situation was resolved because I do, but we can only do what we can do.  Right now,  as Jason kindly reminded me, we take it one step at a time and wait for things to change as we move forward.

The next step, is having a friend go over to see if this tenant is still even in our house.  If there is still someone there, they need to call, pay via wiring the money immediately or we begin the eviction process.  To be honest, I don't think I am cut out to be a long-distance landlady, but alas here I am as such.  So... a damn good landlady I will be!  I have decided that I will not be the overly nice, overly accommodating type, though, as my tolerance for excuses and flat out lies is very low.

Furthermore, changes will be made in our land-lording style, if there is such a word.  We will hire a property manager, first and last months rent, security deposit and the rental agreement will be signed prior to moving in.  Some of these things we are already doing, but we now see we need to do more to protect ourselves because I do not like the headache and worry of all this.  I suppose we are learning the hard way that not all people do what they know is right.  I feel intense disappointment when I know I am being lied to.  Nothing bothers me more than when someone is dishonest, and I know it because I feel the undercurrent of it.

So today is a new day.  I am still not happy with this situation, but I cannot let it rule my day or throw me overboard into a sea of uncertain emotions, which totally happened yesterday.   Really, I think it is a matter of doing what I can do to make the most of the situation: remain calm, cry if I need to in order to free myself of some of the frustration, and, ultimately, trust that this will all work out in our favor.

I think the hardest part of this is really letting it go, letting go of what I cannot control.   The phrase "let go and let God" comes to mind.  I guess what that means is let go of the situation and respond accordingly when life calls for it and the time is right.  I suppose that's all any of us can really do, right?

As always, I feel way better sharing this all because it feels less heavy.  Ahhh... so I breathe, hope for and trust in the best.

Inhale, Exhale,


Monday, December 13, 2010

Recipe for Christmas All Year Long

Well, this is just sweet.  Enjoy!

Recipe for Christmas All Year Long

Take a heap of child-like wonder
That opens up our eyes
To the unexpected gifts in life—
Each day a sweet surprise.

Mix in fond appreciation
For the people whom we know;
Like festive Christmas candles,
Each one has a special glow.

Add some giggles and some laughter,
A dash of Christmas food,
(Amazing how a piece of pie
Improves our attitude!)

Stir it all with human kindness;
Wrap it up in love and peace,
Decorate with optimism, and
Our joy will never cease.

If we use this healthy recipe,
We know we will remember
To be in the Christmas spirit,
Even when it's not December.

(By Joanna Fuchs)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

This so cool...

Okay, so here is a collection of my status posts on facebook over this past year.  It flows pretty well and was pretty amazed by what I read.  Read and enjoy.