Luminous Lotus~

Today has been a strange, hard day for various reasons. And as I am stuck at home without my weekly teaching schedule to keep me anchored and focused, I have had plenty of time to think about a lot of things. And a lot of things are coming up for me, and I am sure I am not alone in this.  The truth is that I am feeling the sadness and the unexpected grief that this whole Coronavirus situation has brought about. One of the things that  I realized is that I have been teaching at least 2 public classes, or more, a week for the last 15 years. May 2nd would have been my 16th year of teaching. I taught before I was married and throughout my pregnancies and have only taken short breaks all these years. I took a short break after we first moved to Tucson and after each child was born but that's it.  I miss my weekly public classes and the community of which I have been a part of. The people who attend my weekly classes are such good, loving, kind people, and they have becom...

I'm sitting at home on a beautiful day. The first day of Spring. It's windy and bright outside. The clouds have fluff and are filling the sky with ever changing shapes. And the air outside is incredibly fresh after yesterday's downpour, making it the perfect first day of Spring. I want to tell you that I feel optimistic and good, but I find myself feeling so strange and unfocused since news of the Coronavirus broke. And the whole world is either under lockdown or self-quarantine. And for many of us, this is a massive change in our lives. Mine and my family's days are not not so different than usual. We home/unschool our kids already so that part is not different at all. But for a majority of the world, the whole family is home more than ever before, which I am sure is both great and slightly overwhelming. Since my family and I spend a lot of time at home anyway, you would think that this would not feel so strange to us. But it does feel strange. It all feels st...

Ok people- I highly recommend you give this book a listen to as I’m sure it will resonate with you or am guessing you have people in your life who are true Empaths.  I usually prefer to read books rather than listen to them but I really got a lot out of this book! So I am sharing it with you.  (Empath by Elliot Harper, narrated by Sam Slydell -Try Audible and get it here: https://www.audible.com/pd?asin=B07S6CHPNP&source_code=ASSORAP0511160006 ) I think I’ve always known that I am a sensitive soul and person and that I feel things more deeply than most and that I understand the world through energy, but I don’t think that I realized that I am an Empath. And I don’t just mean I’m a little bit Empathic. I am empathic to a high degree.   I pick up things people don’t even know they are giving off energetically and they can be miles away! I’m   not exactly sure how such a thing can be measured, but after listening to this book I feel my conclusio...

Last night, just before class started, a student asked me how teaching was going now that the kids were back in school, or something like that. I went on to explain that all was the same because my kids don't go to school and that we homeschool. I must have went into all the reasons why we homeschool because I usually feel the need to explain. Well, as that conversation came to a close, a new student, an older, wiser woman, came over to get her stack of blankets and looked over at me and said, "You don't ever have to apologize for homeschooling your kids." That statement stopped me cold. I had not even realized I had in fact apologized for our choice to homeschool. In that moment, I felt such a sadness, and I really just wanted to bolt out of the room, lock myself in the bathroom and weep. I wanted to weep because on some level it has felt like this choice is not good enough. And let's face it, the majority of the world does not think well of homeschoolin...

I'm sitting on the couch, just home after teaching my Sunday morning class. And here I am trying to regroup and gather my shaky heart. It was hard to get up and show up and teach this morning after hearing about the 2 mass shootings that just occurred in the last 24 hours. It's not like these incidents are surprising anymore because these mass shootings are happening so often. But as I sat in the quiet  with the news of the shootings and the sadness I was feeling, I noticed there was a part of me that did not want to feel anything so that I could focus on getting ready for my class. But not matter what I did to redirect my heart and my mind, I couldn't stop or ignore the sadness. All I could do was just sit with it, acknowledge and feel it. So that's what I did. I sat, my cup of coffee in one hand and the other hand on my heart, and I let the tears and sadness wash over me.  After a few tears, I dried my eyes. I got up and splashed my face with cool water and sat...

Coffee Meditation~ Sitting and breathing and sipping  my coffee on the couch with my eyes closed  and my ears open. I listen to the birds  chirping and cooing outside as the light of the day rises. I listen and breathe in all the sounds  and the moment as it is. I hear the dog whining at the back door. Her nails clicking  on the hard tile floor as she paces back and forth waiting for me to open the door. I sit with my racing mind- frantically trying to figure out  why last night went awry. I feel the worry wobble around in my head and feel a tinge of sadness  as I realize and admit  that my frustration and tired got the best of me. A million apologies fill my head as I sit a nd sip my coffee and I slow my breathing down. My mind is racing  and compiling  list after list  of all the things  I need to do today to prepare for our trip ahead.  ...

It’s been a lon g time since I’ve taken the time to sit down and write. I’ve wanted to sit and write but just haven’t had the clarity or the time or the right way to put into words all that has gone on since my  last post. I have been writing in a journal regularly but it’s mostly in the form of practice, of just bringing myself to the page to share the day to day stuff and to get things off my mind. Honestly, I don’t know where or how to begin as I still feel out of sorts mentally and emotionally. And because I’m still processing so much internally, I’ve been having a hard time verbalizing things.  It’s been this way since I came back from my Level 2 Restorative yoga training in late August with Judith Lasater.  But I will do my best to explain and share here. It was a big deal for me to go to the training and learn and to be away from home for a week. It probably wasn’t the best time for me to go as I was already feeling pretty tender hearted and overwhelmed be...