Luminous Lotus~

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.  ~ Attributed to Harry S Truman This quote seems the perfect way to begin this entry.  It's been a wild few weeks with big changes in the Anusara world.  It seems it is a time of revealing secrets, of bare bones honesty and ultimately, change for the better.   When I first heard word of John's indiscretions and poor personal choices, which are way out of alignment with Yoga as I think of it,  I was shocked. No... I was stunned.  Shortly after the jolt of the truth hit me,  then came the sadness and of course the desire not to believe what I was reading and hearing. How could this be?! What does this mean for this amazing community that I have been a part of for the past 11 years?  What does this mean as far as my teaching in concerned? What does this do to the credibility of Anusara?  In the 6 consecutive years that I've  attended both workshops and teacher trainings with John, I ne...

“Why do we have to listen to our hearts?” the boy asked, when they had made camp that day. “Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you’ll find your treasure.” “But my heart is agitated,” the boy said. “It has its dreams, it gets emotional, and it’s become passionate over a woman of the desert. It asks things of me, and it keeps me from sleeping many nights, when I’m thinking about her.” “Well, that’s good. Your heart is alive. Keep listening to what it has to say.” “My heart is a traitor,” the boy said to the alchemist, when they had paused to rest the horses. “It doesn’t want me to go on.” “That makes sense. Naturally it’s afraid that, in pursuing your dream, you might lose everything you’ve won.” “Well, then, why should I listen to my heart?” “Because you will never again be able to keep it quiet. ” “You mean I should listen, even if it’s treasonous?” “Treason is a blow that comes unexpectedly. If you know your heart well, it will never be able to do that to you. Because you’...

“It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it.” -Lena Horne We often think that admitting struggle is a sign of weakness, but we all struggle sometimes. We all get overwhelmed sometimes. We all need help sometimes. Acknowledging this is not a sign of weakness, but struggling alone is a choice to grow weak. Dear Friends, This will be a very different entry than what I usually write.  This entry is really a request for help, ideas, suggestions, empathy, a show of love by offering anything useful to help me help my son with his separation anxiety.  Let me share with you my situation... My son is 5 and has been going to preschool 4 days a week for 3 1/2 hours.  The school he goes to is really a wonderful place.  It is whimsical and small and community oriented. His teacher is the best.  She is kind, compassionate, loving, and she loves what she does.  I love her.  He only has 9 kids in his class and there are at least 2 or 3 ad...

About a month ago I tried to write a blog and got half way through.  It seems I am in some sort of time warp as time passes so quickly these days and I never seem to get all of what I want done. This part of motherhood is frustrating for me as I am someone who likes to get a certain amount of things done. I am learning to let go of this need a little at a time.  Since my last attempt to write, Christmas has come and gone and a new year has begun.  It's strange that it is only 11 days into the new year and the new year feels like it arrived months ago.  See,  I am in a time warp. Very weird.  Anyway, there has been a lot of inner work going on for me.  This has been a time of reevaluating everything from the way I parent to the way I care about myself.  Mostly,  I have come to realize that patience and presence is an everyday practice when it comes to parenting and is something that I am learning how to be better at.  It is a time of sh...

It’s been nearly two months since I last updated my blog and this is the fourth time I have taken time to write. I am just now finally able to complete an entry.  A lot has gone on in the past couple of months. Life and the little ones are keeping me busy. My family and I have moved house, and we are still in the process of unpacking, organizing, decorating and settling in.  I forgot how long it takes to get settled.  I am impatient and am again reminded of how difficult big changes like this are for me. It has been a hard time for me personally on many levels.  I think that I have been in a mourning process of sorts.  I knew that we were foreclosing on our little two-bedroom house and even though I do feel we made the right choice in our situation, it hasn’t been easy.   I am still sad we had to say goodbye to our little house with Olive trees.  I had a lot of vision for that little house and we put a lot of love into that place.  That being ...

"It's true time flies faster than a blink of an eye" As usual, it is late, and here I am coming to the page. I can't help myself.  It's quiet in the house at the moment with everyone else asleep.  Even the dog and cat are asleep.  I will just give myself over to the tired that I will surely feel tomorrow as my need to connect to myself and my desire to write are winning out over an extra hour of sleep. It's been a hard few weeks.  I have been feeling really overwhelmed  and lacking on so many levels.  I don't know if all that I have been through since Lila's birth has finally caught up to me or if this is just part of life with a newborn.  The changes have been big for us and more change is on the horizon.  I swear I think I write that every month.  I suppose I should just get used to the fact that change is ever present and ongoing.  I guess the timing for more change couldn't be better with the arrival of fall and all, which doesn't...

I've been wanting to write for a while now but the time to do so seems to elude me.  Here it is probably a month later and I am just getting around to jotting a few words down.  It's been a good couple of months off.  It's been all about family, healing, love, and transformation.  You'd think since this is my second child that the transition into motherhood only applies to the first child but that is not the case.  I find that I have been changed by my second baby too. Changes have occurred in my body, mind and heart. I look at my body and the changes are both subtle and obvious.  From the linea negra, the vertical line on the belly during pregnancy, to the massive outer changes in my physical form. The fading line that runs the length of my belly is subtle, but I notice everyday that it is lighter than it was the day before. The shape of my belly is the most obvious and visible sign of change I see as it went from very full and round to, well, sor...