Luminous Lotus~

On mornings like this when I wake to a sick, crying boy, a grumpy husband, a sore throat,  a tired body, a head that hurts, a mind that is blank and a heart and spirit that feels heavy and blue,  I try to remind myself that it's just today and that things will get better.  Of course, sometimes feeling better is easier said than done.  Right now,  I am slow and just trying to get myself motivated to do the things that I need to do in the hopes that I will feel better sooner than tomorrow.   Anyway, in this strange state I am in,  I was on line and came across this sweet story written by a mom.  Who the mom is that wrote this story is a mystery.  Reading it, though, touched me simply because it's so honest, relatable and real.  So I am posting this story for all those moms and dads out there that need to know that even in the midst of the difficult moments when we are feeling tired and overwhelmed that we are not alone.  Also, it ...

Wow, I cannot believe how the days pass by.  All is well here.  My family is doing well and I am doing well.  My classes and teaching are going well and have been keeping busy.  I have even subbed a bit the past couple weeks.  In fact,  I feel tired from all the business. Liam's birthday is in less than a week, and I think he is excited about his special day.  He has asked for a tortoise for his birthday, so I have been researching tortoises to figure out which one would be best for us as a family.  There are several species of tortoises and they can vary quite a bit in size. .  Tortoises have long lives and can grow to be quite large.  For example, the Sulcatas, African Tortoise, can grow to weigh up to 120 pounds and can live to be 100 years or more!  Amazing.  After researching things,  I think the best, most suitable tortoise for us would be the Herman tortoise.  We want to get a baby so Liam can watch it g...

I bought the Real Simple Family magazine issue last night and there is this great section on moments  or things to remember about your children when they are young.  I was sitting on the couch looking at the photographs and reading the shared moments, and I started to feel a little sad.  I think it's because I know how fleeting this time is.  This time when my son is young and running around the house in just his underwear.  I look over at him stretched out on the couch and can't help but be amazed at how much he has grown and so fast.  He still likes to sit and cuddle with me, and we have moments that are just mine and his alone.  I try to be with each moment so that I will always remember this time, but the truth is no matter how hard I stare at  or breathe in the moment, it will not hold this time still.  It's such a strange and beautiful thing to bring another human being into the world and to watch them grow.  Parenting is no easy...

It's been two weeks since my last post.  All is well here in the desert.  The temperature is slowly dropping and the air is cooler in the morning, which is a relief. We haven't had much rain out at our house and wish more rain would come. Hopefully Mother Nature will send more of the wet stuff our way.    Life is back to normal.  It seems we are in a rhythm with work and all.  Liam is doing great.  His 4th birthday is less than a month away!  This year is flying by and can hardly seem to keep up. The busyness will continue this month too with cycling camp season in full swing for Jason.  He had a camp this past week and weekend and leaves for Montreal for most of this week.  Then begins the nearly- every-Sunday-morning sessions with the UMC group to help prepare folks for El Tour.  Of course,  this means things will be busy for me as well as I will have to spend more time home.  I will just have to be creative with my t...

I am finally through the hard part of the last few weeks.  Really the hardest part was all the waiting I feel like I've been doing during these past few weeks.  Once I got the word that my body was taking care of the last of the pregnancy on it's own, meaning no more physical symptoms and more dissolution and re-absorption of what was left,  I felt ready to get on with life.  I have jumped right back into things. In fact this past weekend is a perfect example of moving forward.  This past weekend Jason, Liam and I went up to Mt. Lemmon and walked in the stream for two hours.  We caught lots of tadpoles, a baby frog, a butterfly, some grasshoppers, and went on the hunt for a praying mantis, which we never found. I love how Liam helps me remember the art of exploration and wonder.  It was so great to be among the trees and walking in the water exploring nature for the sweetest of treasures. Sunday I got back to teaching my 8:30 class and it was great...

I t's been a weird and wild two weeks. The abrupt changes that have occurred over the past few weeks have been many.  I am just trying to stay with things even as they continue to change. I have had moments of sadness and disappointment to be sure.  Now,  I am left with a lot of questions that there are no real answers for. This experience has been different on every level.  The good news is that it wasn't as physically painful as the first time but it has been more draining in other ways.  It has been a longer process this time and nothing has gone as it was supposed to.  I even took a prescribed medication to help encourage the miscarriage along and both times the medicine failed to work.  No one, including myself, seems to know why.  It seems my body is reabsorbing all signs of this pregnancy.  It's almost as if the process has gone in reverse.  It's oddly fascinating, strange, sad and baffling all at the same time.   Howe...

Life is not a straight road to some final place.  Life is full of twists and turns and unexpected moments.  And everyday we are invited to live life to the fullest. We are invited to embrace each day and all it brings with both arms. And even when it is difficult to show up and face the world, we find the courage and strength in our own hearts to do so. I don't think that I would be where I am today without my practice to support me in times when I need it most.  I am not just talking about running through the poses.  I am talking about the way in which we choose to live our life moment to moment, breath by breath.  And sometimes,  when the heart is heavy and the mind is cluttered,  taking a deep breath can be difficult.  But breathing in each moment, which is a practice,  is the best thing we can do for ourselves.   Bare and vulnerable is not such a bad place to be.  In fact,  it is the real place to be. Respond to the in...